Entertaining
How to Set a Table Properly—From Casual to ‘The Crown’
Hosting again? Here are the place setting rules to follow (and to break).
Photo by Bette Blau
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27 Comments
Karen
July 8, 2022
So easy to remember...left hand - 4 letters so fork goes on left. Right hand - 5 letters do knife & spoon on right. Even a 5-year-old could remember this! Taught that to my kids, grandkids and now great grandkids! And the sharp part of knife toward plate so you do not get a cut when you reach for the spoon! Kids can remember if it's explained.
Jean M.
February 14, 2022
Oh my, the knife blade ALWAYS faces the plate. Your picture was a fail. However, I love a well set table, even if it is just me and my love eating.
Dianne N.
October 21, 2022
That was the first thing I noticed -- your picture has the knife facing away from the plate! The reason it is placed facing towards the plate is so when you reach for it, you don't cut yourself.
Maureen P.
January 29, 2022
Nice article, but. . . Ouch! The picture with the knife blade out is SO wrong!
Ashley D.
January 20, 2022
Wondering if you have a link to purchase the blue flowered plates. I looked on the website but couldn't find them. Thanks!
jburd
December 19, 2021
I can't believe that the photo you're using for your most formal setting has the knife facing the wrong way. Your descriptions are correct, but the photo?????
Hillary
July 29, 2021
I love seeing forks placed tines down. Anyone ever see that? It's so pretty, and it makes sense because then it's ready for action.
Nisha A.
April 11, 2021
So appropriate post my Easter dinner when I have to ask my 20 something-year-old kids to set the table and they still can’t remember where the fork goes. Then a family member argued that it belonged on the right. I quickly pulled out my very handy placesetting card that came with my Oneida flatware set that I’ve used for over 25 years. However the question I’d like to pose to the rest of you who seem as concerned about setting a proper table is this: where does one place the knife rest. I assume it is above the knife. I bought a beautiful set of sterling silver knife rush at the paris flea market thinking that I would have ample opportunity to use them. Alas after more than 20 years they sit in that drawer and I am determined to use them one day. Thank you
tia
July 31, 2019
For the glasses and bread plates, especially on a crowded table, you can remember which one is supposed to be yours by making the "OK" sign with both hands and looking down at them. Then it's just "b is for bread" and "d is for drink" and you know bread is to the left and your drink is to the right.
Eleanor M.
July 31, 2019
I think napkin rings are lovely but an unnecessary affectation when used for occasional guest diners. In my (British) husband's childhood, the family's napkin rings (numbered 1,2,3 and 4) denoted whose (cloth) napkin was whose, since these were not washed after every use. If a guest is only going to be eating the one meal, it is likely that the napkins will be laundered after and there is really no reason to ring them.
Whooz C.
December 6, 2014
What a lovely article. Yes, asparagus is eaten with one's fingers wih small warm water bowls, with a slice of lemon in, placed above the bread plate to clean one's fingers in afterwards. In England the pudding cutlery is put across the top of the plate in informal settings. Bread rolls are never cut but broken or torn with fingers; the knife is merely for buttering the roll. We use decorative 'wine glass charms' that are placed around the stem of a glass to keep track of one's wine.
Lori
November 16, 2014
It never seizes to amaze me how many adults do not know the basics of the proper table setting. Blades in is my biggest pet peeve!
baker2
October 19, 2014
I love charger plates and white dishes which don't fight with the colors of food. Charger plates can add color and interest to a table and on occasion when setting a table will leave them under the dinner plate. It may not be according to rules but.................
Robin S.
October 2, 2014
At formal affairs, we always use pretty metal (gold, copper, silver) napkin holders, sometimes different ones used at the same event for people to remember which place setting (and drink glasses) were theirs by placing their holder below and a bit to the side of their glasses. I'm now idly wondering: Is there any proper/improper etiquette debate on napkin holders?
dymnyno
November 18, 2012
We always set the water glass just above the knife. Wine glasses are set above the plate so that we can compare the wines. We usually have at least 2 or more glasses of wine and they are poured from left to right, so a third or fourth glass is placed to the right of the other glasses. Usually we are comparing vintages or if a guest brings a bottle from his cellar, we add that to the lineup too.
vvvanessa
November 17, 2012
This reminds me of a sweet little video a friend of mine is in:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_EYNMvC1f4&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_EYNMvC1f4&feature=plcp
mrslarkin
November 16, 2012
Oh boy, fancy!! i love table settings! If I won the lottery, I'd move to a house with a room just for the many vintage china and flatware sets I'd collect. But for now, we use my 21 y.o. chipped stoneware, and on special occasions, my Limoges wedding china.
My dad was a career waiter, and taught my sister and I early on how to properly set the table. Tablecloths were always mandatory. Paper napkins were okay, as long as they were on the right side of the plate. Also, an easy way I learned to remember the cutlery order is it's in alphabetical order, left to right - fork, knife, spoon.
One of my favorite things I found this Fall where the "fake" paper plates and red solo cups. They are fun and awesome, and top-rack dishwasher safe. We use them often.
My dad was a career waiter, and taught my sister and I early on how to properly set the table. Tablecloths were always mandatory. Paper napkins were okay, as long as they were on the right side of the plate. Also, an easy way I learned to remember the cutlery order is it's in alphabetical order, left to right - fork, knife, spoon.
One of my favorite things I found this Fall where the "fake" paper plates and red solo cups. They are fun and awesome, and top-rack dishwasher safe. We use them often.
Droplet
November 16, 2012
You've managed to gracefully compact things, Kristy. One thing that I always noted during family gatherings when I was growing up is how a few hours into the event (not to mention by the end of it), when we haven't seen each other for a while, everybody has moved to sit by somebody else to chat some and soon we start asking each other which glass belongs to whom. I like the visual of placing the dessert fork at the top setting as well. Also, when more than one type of alcohol will be served, we put the glasses for the second and third variety in a cluster at the table and let those who wish to drink the alternative, to pick a glass for themselves.
katiecookstoo
November 18, 2012
Interesting to read about your glass solution. With some still drinking cocktails, some wanting white wine, others red wine and then those who want tea and water or just tea, catering to the individual choice means the number and kinds of glasses can get way out of hand! I'm interested in how others handle this.
cheese1227
November 16, 2012
My mother in law puts the teaspoon and dessert fork at the top of the setting, between the glasses. Wondering if that is a British thing. She would know. Her mother made it so that when all three of her children went to Oxford, their less than higher class roots would not be evident in their table manners. They had to peel oranges at the table with a knife and fork. The only thing properly eaten with your fingers is asparagus, I am told.
Kristy M.
November 16, 2012
I've heard that about asparagus, too.
The placement of dessert spoons and forks depends on how many utensils are already on the table. No more than three of any implement are to be on the table at one time, with the exception of the oyster fork. So if you don't already have three forks and spoons in a setting, feel free to add the dessert utensils above the dinner plate! I love the way that looks. Another detail from my research says that the tines of the fork always point to the right, and the tip of the spoon always points left (so when dinner service is cleared, the dessert implements conveniently slide to their proper sides of the dessert plate). I got into this research, can you tell?
Happy table setting!
The placement of dessert spoons and forks depends on how many utensils are already on the table. No more than three of any implement are to be on the table at one time, with the exception of the oyster fork. So if you don't already have three forks and spoons in a setting, feel free to add the dessert utensils above the dinner plate! I love the way that looks. Another detail from my research says that the tines of the fork always point to the right, and the tip of the spoon always points left (so when dinner service is cleared, the dessert implements conveniently slide to their proper sides of the dessert plate). I got into this research, can you tell?
Happy table setting!
Bonnie
April 21, 2014
I am curious a to eating asparagus with your fingers. It this really proper? Thank you.
Mary T.
April 28, 2021
I am so happy you brought this up! It makes a lot of sense, BUT which implement is closest to the center of the table? In other words, is the fork above the spoon, or vice verse? Maybe it doesn’t matter? I have always puzzled about this.
Also, we have almost given up setting the table with dinner plates in place. My British hubby is very very fussy about warm plates. My Denby platters and plates handle being heated in the oven very well. And sometimes I simplify everything by putting the warm plates on the big butcher block in the center of the kitchen, and have guests serve themselves right from the baking dishes arranged neatly on the countertops. People like choosing their own portion, and it makes cleanup a whole lot easier. Thanks for a great article!
Also, we have almost given up setting the table with dinner plates in place. My British hubby is very very fussy about warm plates. My Denby platters and plates handle being heated in the oven very well. And sometimes I simplify everything by putting the warm plates on the big butcher block in the center of the kitchen, and have guests serve themselves right from the baking dishes arranged neatly on the countertops. People like choosing their own portion, and it makes cleanup a whole lot easier. Thanks for a great article!
cheese1227
November 16, 2012
I love a beautifully set table. So pleased to see you passing along the rules of engagement (while still keeping things open for a little creativity.)
Kristy M.
November 16, 2012
Thanks, cheese1227! These rules are definitely good to know, but I love to see how people mix things up.
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